The goal is to understand your true self before launching an action plan. Deep realizations about yourself don’t come all in one sitting. Be your own ethnographer for a month. One of the people that I admire most in the world is Jane Goodall. Imagine Jane sitting in the forest, looking at those chimpanzees with compassion and curiosity. Take on her kind tone and attitude while observing yourself. Be gentle and curious but never judgmental. This is very hard for us to do because we’re always talking shit to ourselves.
Take a notebook and notice every time you get excited about something. It doesn’t have to be a big moment or work related… Just write it down each time—no judgments. What happens over the course of the month is you start seeing some patterns. It gives you a peek into your authenticity and things that energize you. When your whole body lights up with joy, it’s really trying hard to tell you something—it’s saying, “hey, this is important, please pay attention.”
You need to spend time understanding who you truly are before you forge a path. If you’re making plans based on other people’s perception of you or the perception of yourself that you want to project based on some external force, you’ll always end up in the wrong place.
I can’t stop. It’s like I’ve lived my whole life with no emotions and now I have so many that I don’t even know how to breathe.
My brother killed himself
on the twenty-eighth Thursday of last year
and I missed four days of work
and my mom wanted to know ‘Why’.
he was always a fan of beauty
but what he did
was not beautiful at all.
And last week I got the news
that one of my good friends from high school
except this time
she’d gone too far
and now she was gone.
And I had a hard time falling asleep at night
and her mother
hugged me tight
and thanked me for coming to the service
but I did not
want to be there at all.
This is not
The girl down the street
would’ve turned 21 last year
and I can scarcely imagine
the wild times she would’ve
But she is buried six feet deep
after falling nearly 300
and she did not leave a note.
This is not
My freshman year of college
and my roommate was beautiful
and how I wanted to be just like her.
But she wore herself down
till she was
and if you blinked
you had to go and find her all over again.
So now her parents are no longer supporting her college tuition
but are paying her hospital bills
watching their daughter crumble.
This is not
So y’all can take your narcissistic
of self harm and eating disorders and committing suicide
and shove them as far up your ass
as you possibly can.
Starvation is not beautiful.
Killing yourself is not beautiful.
is not beautiful.
This note I am writing
is not beautiful.
you are beautiful
and it’s about damn time you start believing it.
Lessons learned from HIMYM
1. "Nothing good ever happens after 2am." Making decisions in this most unholy hour, is a TERRIBLE idea. Don’t do it. Whatever you are thinking of, it’s a bad idea. It’s a stupid decision. Just go home and sleep. Decide when you wake up; you’d make better decisions after a good night’s rest.
2. "You don’t always end up being the person you always planned to be." Some dreams just don’t come true. But that doesn’t mean that whatever you end up doing is terrible; sometimes you end up somewhere you don’t expect and sometimes be happier about it. We have to accept that you can’t always get what you want.
3."Things change." It might not have worked out the first time, but things change. You might find yourself liking this person all over again. People change, just give them a chance because sometimes the things you used to hate about a person has changed or the person has changed for the better. People also change. We lose connection with loved ones, we get married, we have kids, we move away, we meet new people. And as much as we want everything to stay the same, we can’t because new things replace the old ones and we need to focus on the good things that are coming in the future and not the good things that were in the past.
4. “Don’t think. Do.” Some things a so simple you just overcomplicate things. Just go with the flow and let things happen without you stressing over little details and planning everything out.
5. "There is someone out there for you." You may not meet “the one” today, tomorrow, or the next day; but somehow, you’ll find the right one for you, soon. You might fall in love with someone you never expected to fall for. You might fall for this person in some of the most unexpected ways or situations. Just give everyone a chance.
6. "That’s the funny thing about destiny, it happens whether you planned it or not." Destiny is destiny. You can’t stop it and you don’t know what will happen.
7. "Because sometimes even if you know how something’s gonna end that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ride." Have fun or enjoy things while it lasts. You might regret it if you don’t.
8. "The littlest thing can cause a ripple effect that changes your life." Everything happens for a reason, even the little things. One moment can change your life forever.
9. "There are two big days in any love story: the day you meet the girl of your dreams and the day you marry her." These 2 big days are one of the most unforgettable days of your life. The day you meet the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with and the day you start the rest of your life together.
10. "You see, everyone’s got some baggage- it’s part of life- but like anything else, it’s easier when someone gives you a hand with it." People have gone through so many things throughout their life. Problems and bad memories/experiences are always a part of everyone’s lives. It’s hard carrying all these burdens alone. Sometimes it’s easier if someone was with you, supporting you, and helping you carry your “baggage”.
11. "Love doesn’t make sense." There is no logic behind love. Sometimes you just don’t know how you’d fall in love with someone who is completely against all of your senses you think is the wrong person, but somehow… in someway, you still fell for this person. It doesn’t have to make sense to make sense.
12. “Wait for it.” If we want to see something legendary happen, we’re going to have to wait for it.” It took 9 seasons for HIMYM to end and eventhough the ending was not what most of us expected, HIMYM will always and forever be LEGENDARY